What Is Your Fear Telling You To Do?
Should you listen?
Is fear a bad thing?
It’s a little like asking, “Are strawberries a good thing?”
If you like them and you’re hungry, yes. If you’re allergic, maybe no. If they are moldy, definitely no.
Fear can only be judged in terms of something else.
Are you afraid to jump off a skyscraper? Good!
Are you afraid to play the guitar in front of people?
Well, if you don’t know how to play it, then maybe your fear is keeping you out of trouble. If you scored yourself a job at a professional gig and you don’t really know how to play, then your fear is doing you a huge favor by telling you to stop.
On the other hand, if you know how to play, and you don’t want to because it feels too risky, then maybe fear isn’t such a good thing.
Because what’s the risk?
The greatest risk is probably that you’ll be laughed at, yelled at, or asked not to come back. That might dissuade you from ever playing the guitar again, and maybe that would mean you lose some pleasure in your life. Or maybe it would shatter an illusion you had about yourself that’s keeping you moving forward.
The fear itself isn’t the problem in these scenarios.
What is the problem?
If you’re afraid to be laughed at, your fear might be telling you that you should prepare a little better. There are ways to find out if that’s the case: play for your friends, play for your teacher, record yourself and watch.
If you’re afraid you’re going to lose the desire to play guitar, you might ask yourself why you would let anyone take that away from you? Does that scornful audience member in your imagination really have that kind of power over you? They probably don’t even play themselves!
If you have an illusion that’s keeping you going, is that the best way to keep yourself going? If the illusion is all you have, then maybe you need it for now. If you can replace the illusion with a true picture of yourself as a person who is learning, a person who deserves to be seen and heard in process, then maybe your fear is telling you to ditch the illusion.
Isn’t that nice of your fear?
It’s helping you! It’s sending you a signal. You can use that signal to learn about your choices, so you can make the right one.
Here’s the thing: Responding directly to fear with the first reaction you have will not help you.
It’s your response to the fear, your consideration of the question, that makes the fear work for you. It’s your reality check, your slow-down, so that you can consider your decision more carefully.
What is your fear telling you to do?
Having trouble parsing your fear? I’m here to help! Just contact me and we can talk about it.