The state, or the city, of my writing

Here's how it is

I’m an inveterate novel writer, been at it since I was six. I managed to finish a bunch of them too. But I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

I started four novels with the goal of finishing them simultaneously.

Don’t laugh. The idea was to save time.

I am capable of writing four novels concurrently. At least I don’t know any reason why I couldn’t. I can read four books concurrently.

The question is why I’m NOT writing them.

This last year I had more spare time than I’ve had in a long time. But I found myself panicked about my prospects for this year, and when I had the time to write, I found other things to do, either to quell my fears or to let off steam.

My rule of thumb is that if I’m not writing, that’s my brain telling me I’m not ready to write. Any time I’ve ever pushed back on that, I’ve ended up with inferior material that had to be substantially rewritten. So I don’t look at it so much as writer’s block as a massive city construction project in my brain.

The problem is it can be hard to tell the difference between respecting my mind’s holding period, and procrastination.

I did finish one rough draft of a novel and one of a non-fiction book last year, but I had ample opportunity to do more and didn’t. Now I’m thinking I need to press on.

But how? I’m currently working five part-time jobs that together pay my bills and keep me working 7 days a week. I’m also populating two YouTube channels with at least one video per channel per day, five days a week, plus reviving my interview series as audio podcasts, which you can find here.

I used to be propelled by the fear of my imminent demise. At 55 I no longer dwell on the possibility of dying suddenly. But being alive, I do feel as though I should be moving forward.

My books, my characters, deserve it.

So I’ve come up with a solution, though it may be the straw that breaks my back.

I’m going to either work on the books or I’m going to write to you every day. If I write to you, it’ll be about why I didn’t write in the book, or whatever. My thoughts on the book, my fears, my musings.

If you want, when I DO write in the books, I could post the bits I write. But I’d require you to request that.

What do you think of my solution?

Love,

Adam