Composers Steal Your Wallet

A who's who of Classical Music

Monteverdi steals your wallet before you're old enough to know you have one.

Bach is so lovely you give him your wallet.

Handel distracts you with a large crowd and takes your wallet.

Haydn makes you laugh and takes your wallet.

Mozart makes you forget you have a wallet.

Beethoven beats you up and takes your wallet.

Schubert dies and takes your wallet with him.

Schumann tells you a story and when he's done he's gone and so is your wallet.

Brahms tells you a story that's so complicated you give him your wallet to get rid of him.

Wagner tells you a story that's so long and complicated you leave and forget your wallet.

Tchaikovsky gets you drunk and takes your wallet.

Debussy asks you a question in French and while you're trying to translate he is taking your wallet.

Ravel shows you his beautiful wallet while he is taking yours.

Strauss tells you a sob story and asks for a few bucks. You reach for your wallet but it's gone.

Mahler asks to borrow your wallet and never gives it back.

Schoenberg convinces you that your money is worthless and you give him your wallet in disgust.

John cage has no need of your wallet.

Phillip glass takes your wallet again and again and again.